Howdy. Howdy Friends and neighbors!! Step right up and gather round, because you! I say you! Yes you are my next lucky crowd!! Now, what I have to tell you about today is very, very important! Yer gonna want to hear what I got to tell you and yer gonna want to see what I got here to sell you! So step right on up close here so I can talk to you personal-like and be prepared to be amazed! Come on now, step on up! Don’t be shy… all right never mind then. Back off. Give me room to breath!

 

Now folks, what I have here today is the wonder of the age! It’s the sensation of the nation! It is unquestionably the greatest, the most tantalizing and versatile culinary concoction ever created in this, or any other century!

 

And what, you may well ask, am I talking about? Well I’ll tell you! I’m talking about the highly seductive potion of kick ass ambrosia heretofore only experienced by the lucky, privileged few, known as the one, the only, (Drum roll, please!!!... I said, Drum roll, please!!!. Oh all right nevermind than, that's close enough!)

 

BEETLE JUICE!

 

That’s right, folks, BEETLE JUICE!

 

It’s an Elixir! It’s a Mixer! It’s a down-in-the-dumps Fixer! It’ll kick you in the butt and shift your taste buds into high gear so fast they’ll forget there’s such a thing as low gear! Your hairs will stand on end like the quills on a pissed off porky pine! Your eyeballs will shoot from their sockets and bounce off the opposite wall! And then, just when you’re thinking it might be a good time to make out your last will and testament, the clouds will part, the sun will shine, a gentle cooling breeze will waft through your head and you’ll feel all the soothing effects of my secret ingredients.

 

Now, before I go any further, let me assure all of you that no beetles were harmed in the making of this miraculous tonic. When I say “Beetle” I’m talking about a combination of the words “Beet” and “Pickle”. And when I say “Juice” I’m talking about the brine I use to pickle the beets along with my other highly secret ingredients which are none of your damn business but which are nevertheless printed right there on the label. (Keep them under your hat)

 

It makes the best damn pickle back you ever tasted! It’s a cure for the blahs, the blues, the reds, the pinks and, of course the dreaded Saturday Night Fever.

 

Use it like you would any pickle juice as a backup with whiskey or tequila. Or vodka, or gin or rum or any other damn thing you want! 

 

Use it in a Bloody Mary or to spice up a Cosmo. Use it as a drink mixer or just drink it alone to wake up your palate and make your sinuses tingle! Put it in a shot glass with and oyster for a shooter you won’t forget!

 

Put it in a salad dressing for an unexpected tongue tickle. Marinate ribs, steak, chicken or fish in it and while you’re grilling, reduce it to syrup over medium heat for for glazing.

 

The possibilities are endless! So get some Beetle Juice! Don’t delay! Get it right now! Supplies are limited so hurry up!! Just remember: It’s got Kick!

(It says so right there on the label! Don’t say you weren’t warned!)

 

 

 

 

The Devil’s Deets

 

1& 1/2 oz Jalapeno Tequila

¾ oz Beetle Juice

¾ oz Lemon Juice

½ oz Mezcal

¼ oz Agave Syrup

Shake well over ice and strain into a glass

 

Mixologist: Zach Stanchfield

Café Mogodor 101 St. Mark’s Place #1 NYC